妖怪都市 WIZARD'S CURSE
林师傅，据线报说他们就在房子里 Master Lam, according to the information, they are here.
牛头骨是降头术的标识 The skull of ox is the symbol of sorcery.
他们果然有两下子 They are really something.
每一次查到他们的下落，把他们四面包围 Whenever we check their location & surround them.
还是被他们轻易逃脱 They can still escape easily!
我早就怀疑他们会隐身术 So I suspect that they know sorcery.
好，你们行动吧 Take action.
有人！ Somebody is coming!
来！ Come on!
快点！追啊！ Hurru up! Chase them!
有白脚印！ White foot mark!
跟着脚印追啊！ Follow the foot mark!
是 Yes.
第二小队，截击白脚印 2nd unit! Block the foot marks.
是 Yes.
一定是有懂道术的人在作怪 There must be someone who knows magic around.
现在怎么办？ What'll we do?
自首啦 Surrender!
种善因得善果 You'll get what you've done.
你们满身杀孽，如果不投降自首 You are evil, if you don't surrender.
你们必无善果 You'll deserve it!
臭道士，你去吃屎！ Bastard! Go & eat shit!
我活生生的吃屎，没有关系 I don't mind eating shit alive.
只怕你们到了地狱连屎都没得吃 But when you go to jail, you can't eat even shit!
乃密金莎，你们不投降的话只有死路一条 You'll die if you don't surrender.
林师傅 Master Lam.
拿新子弹来！ Take me the new bullets!
黑狗血？！ The blood of black dog?
他们的法力已经破了，开枪吧 Their scocery is over, fire now.
上 Go!
先不要过去！ Don't go!
什么事啊？ What's the matter?
降头师在临死之前， When a sorcerer is going to die,
一定会对他的仇人发出一生最厉害的毒咒 He'll make the bad curse he can.
你听谁说的？ Who say so?
我猜的！ I guess!
好了，没事了！ Ok, it'll be fine.
抬他们走！ Take them away!
林师傅，这次真的谢谢你来帮我们泰国警方的忙 I've to thank you for your help.
要不然我真的不知道怎么去抓那两个雌雄降头大盗 Or, I can't arrest those notorious thieves.
为民除害，理所当然得嘛 It's our duty to beat crimes.
你送给我这些鳄鱼肉 What the crocodile meat you've given me.
回去给病人治气喘最好了 Is beat for curing asthma.
不成敬意了！对了，回去香港以后 Don't mention it!When you are back to HK.
替我问候大嫂 Send my regard to your wife.
我跟那老太婆已经分开好几年了 We departed!
对不起！ Sorry!
不过我女儿跟我，已经很大了 But my daughter lives with me.
现在在当见习医生 She is a probationary doctor now.
真的，那恭喜你了 Really? Congratulations!
特别新闻报道：昨晚警方缉捕的重犯乃密金莎 Special news report: La Mit & Kim Sha, the criminals wanted.
尸体无故失踪，怀疑被人偷走 Their corpses are stolen.
警方正在追查… Now this is uder investgation.
什么事啊？ What's the matter?
新闻报道说，乃密跟金莎 News said that, te corpses of La Mit & Kim Sha
他们两个人的尸体在停尸间被人偷走 were stolen.
要不要我留下来？ Should I stay behind?
不会有事的，人都已经死掉了！ It'll be OK, they are dead!
对了，你的飞机快起飞了，开快点！ Yeah, drive faster! He'd hurry to the airport.
师傅，时辰到了 Master, time's up.
把九十九个淫男的精液 Add in the sperm of 99 satyrs.
跟九十九个淫妇的经血一起倒下去 And the blood collected from 99 bitches' period.
是，师傅 Yes.
师傅，究竟[阴阳尸]是什么？ Master, what is Terrific Vampire?
是天下间至淫至毒的妖怪 This is the most powerful monster.
是降头术之中最高的境界 This is te top sorcery in our field.
为什么？ Why?
这个[阴阳尸]不但可以变男，也可以变女 This can change its sex automatically.
刀枪剑戟都伤不了他 No weapons can hurt it.
力大无穷，不怕阳光，不怕火烧 It's strong, not afraid of sun & fire.
而且是人鬼神三界之外的妖怪 This is the most suprrior monster.
连神佛对他都不能发生作用 God can do nothing to it.
他以人的脑汁作为养料 It eats man's brain.
每吸一个人的脑汁，或者是跟人做性交 Once it eats a brain or makes loves with people.
就可以得到他一切的知识和本领 It can gain the object's knowledge & power.
对了师傅，那我们还练什么？ Why'd we make this?
练一个[阴阳尸]是一个降头师一生的梦想 It's a wish of any sorcerer!
他如果听我的话 If it listens to me.
我就是世界上最有权力的人 I'd be the most powerful man.
为什么这么难练？ Why it's so difficult to make one?
一定要有一对深深相爱的男女？ We'd find a pair of lovers.
他们的心肠一定要很毒辣 They must be hard-hearted & cruel.
而且在同时间一起死 They'd die in the same time.
在死之前，内心里还有一股怨气 Before they die, there'd be hatred.
最困难的就是 The most difficult thing is,
要他们本身一定是降头师才行 They'd be sorcerers!
哪一个降头师死了肯给别人练的？ No sorcerer'd like to be used after dead.
那大师兄，还有二师姐是最理想的人选 So they are the most suitable pair.
一个钟头之后，[阴阳尸]就会破茧 After an hour, the Terrific Vampire'll come out.
他要出世了，过来帮忙 It'll soon come out
对不起，我忘了告诉你 Sorry, I forget to tell you.
在他出世之后 Once it comes out
要吃两个有道行的男女的脑汁作为他的第一餐 It'll eat 2 brains from sorcerers.
如果七天之内能吃到一个十灵时出世少女的脑汁 If winthin 7 days, it can eat a girl's brain who was born at spiritual hour.
他的魔法就更加无边 It's power will be enormous.
以后九天十地，诸魔诸神 Not even a god or evil spirit.
都不可以制服他！ Can defeat it!
师傅 Master!
金莎，怎么只得你一个？ Kim Sha, why you come alone?
你应该是阴阳同体的！ You'd share the same body with La Mit!
我不知道！ I don't know!
乃密呢？ Where is La Mit?
到底发生了什么事？ What's happened?
难道我的练法出了错？ Does the recipe go wrong?
你没练错！ No.
你错的，是根本不应该练我们出来 You'd not have made us!
我们每吸一个人的脑汁，就能拥有他的思想 We eat one's brain, we'll have his thought.
你的男弟子向来恨你，很想杀你 Your students hated you, & wanted to kill you.
现在我也拥有这种杀你的思想 Now I own his thought
我们一定要去找一个十灵时出世的女孩子 We'd find a girl who was born at spiritual hour.
吸了她的脑汁，那么我们就是魔中之魔了 Eat her brain, & we'll be invincible!
喝杯咖啡 Have a cup of coffee
好！ Thanks.
小心点嘛！ Be careful!
这几天我老是眼皮会跳 I feel somthing bad recently!
我过几天就要升级了，你眼皮还跳 I 'll be promoted few days later, why you have something bad
你也知道那些降头师 You konw, those sorcerers.
他们是有仇必报的 They'll take revenge
你放心了！我师父在这里安了神位 Don't worry! My master sets a buddha here.
你要是心里不舒服的话，就去拜一拜 If you don't feel easy, go & worship it.
老婆… Honey...
你好吗？你这个吃屎狗！ How are you? Dog!
你们不是已经死掉了吗？ Aren't you dead?
爸！ Dad!
女儿你快走！ Go!
快走！ Go!
救命呀！救命呀！Help ah! Help ah!
你放手！你这个妖怪，我跟你拼了！ Hands off! You monster! I'll kill you.
香港 Hong Kong
医生，你想痛死人呀？ Doctor, I feel great pain!
你这么吵，小心护士骂你！ Don't be that noisy! Beware scolded by the nurse!
骂什么？我是刑警呀！骂！ What? I'm a police!
你哪里不对劲呀？ What's wrong with you?
关你屁事呀？ None of your business!
听说你抓贼的时候被人家踢到老二，是不是？ Did you hurt your dick when taken action?
你去睡你的觉吧！ Go to sleep! You bastard!
我精神好得很，我才不用睡觉哩 I don't need any sleep now.
你是不是想挨打呀你？ Do you want me to beat you?
怎么样？刑警有什么了不起？ Police is no big deal!
你有种过来，你敢打我吗？ Come over if you've guts!
你这个王八旦你跟我闭嘴！ You bastard! Shut up!
我才不怕你，你过来！ I won't care you, come over here.
怎么样？ So what?
你们吵够了没有 Stop shouting!
管你什么事？ None of your business!
我睡觉了 I'm going to sleep!
你不要说你是医生 Don't tell me you are a doctor.
我是医生 Yes.
你不要说你是来帮我检查的 Don't tell me you aregoing to check me up.
我是要帮你检查 Sure!
你不要我脱裤子嘛？ Don't you want me to take off my pants?
自己脱呀！还是要护士帮你脱？ Youcan do it ourself or ask a nurse to help you.
小姐，我这个受伤的地方很尴尬的 Miss, I hurt my dick, it's embarrassing!
拜托你换个男的来好不好？ Please ask a male doctor to help.
其他的医生都在忙 The other doctors are busy
你可以拒绝要我帮你检查 You can refuse my inspection.
可是要等好几个小时啊！ But you'll wait few more hours.
脱就脱吧！ OK!
放轻松点 Be relax!
没什么嘛，只是有点肿 It's fine, just swell a little bit.
擦点药膏，休息几天就没事了 Put some cream on & take a few days rest.
什么没事呀？有没有搞错？ What? Are you kidding?
我跳了快半个钟头差点把那两个跳出来 It really hurt!
现在还在痛的！什么没事？ I feel painful!
真的没事嘛 It's OK!
小姐，我还要生个儿子的！ Miss, I've have a son.
你的器官除了必须割包皮之外 You's is OK, but just need a cut.
完全没有其他的问题 Everything is fine.
除非是心理问题，像自卑感啦 Except for psychiatric problem.
我为什么要自卑呀？三八！ Why do I have psychiatric problem?
给他擦药 Give him the cream.
不用这么多，他的药用一半就够了 Don't use that much, just half of it will do.
知道了 Got it!
不用你擦！我自己来！ I'll do it myelf.
看什么？你以为你自己的大？ Don't you think yours is bigger?
你擦得完吗？ Can you use it up?
好…我不跟你争！ OK,I won't argue with you.
你的大，可以了吧？ Yours is bigger, OK?
对不起，我找林小婷医生 Sorry, may I see Dr. Lam Siu Ting?
我没有空，你自己找 I'm not free, look for yourself
小姐 Miss.
我找林小婷医生 I'm looking for Dr. Lam Siu Ting.
他正在忙，你先坐一下 She is busy, just wait a while.
可是我有… But I...
爸，你又来做什么？ Dad, what are you doing here?
我炖了汤给你喝 I send you soup.
我哪有时间？ But I've no time to drink it.
你们去忙吧 Go & work.
来…过来 Come here.
来呀！ Come on!
你拖我出来干什么嘛？ Why you take me here?
过来呀！ Come over here!
我不过是煮个汤给你喝嘛 I just take you the soup.
爸，我只不过是个实习医生 I am a probationary doctor!
我不是大医生呀 I'm under training!
放心！晚上我给你开个坛，改改运 Don't worry. I'll do you something to change your luck.
你很快就会当大医生了 So you'll become a famous doctor soon.
爸，做西医是有规矩的 Dad,we've to follow regulation!
你以为是跟你一样跟人家把把脉 Don't you think it's ancient time?
西医就了不起啊 So what!
你今天过生气，我炖了汤，你喝一点 Today is your birthday, you'd take some soup.
记住，晚上回家拜祖先 Rember, come home & worship the ancestors.
Hi Hi
老伯，现在不是探病时间 Uncle, it's not time for visit!
这是我爸 He is my dad.
伯父，你好！ How are you?
爸！ Dad!
你今天很晚才起床 You get up late this morning.
是啊 Yes!
早餐吃稀饭？ You ate congee as breakfast.
你怎么知道？ How you know that?
昨天晚上泡马子了？ You courted girls last night?
不是…你怎么会说这种话的？ Why do you say so?
我是修道之人 I'm a taoist!
伯父真爱说笑 Uncle,you must be kidding!
我从来不说笑的 I never tell jokes.
我还有个病人，我赶去看看 I've to work now.
不好意思 Sorry.
一会儿见 See you later.
爸，你干什么嘛？ Dad, what are you doing?
回来！ Come back!
你看，他衣服上有稀饭 Look, there is congee on your clothes.
嘴角有牙膏，头发也没有梳好 You've tooth paste near your mouth, your hair isn/t well combed.
很明显在匆匆忙忙的赶来上班 Syre you are rushing to hospital.
眼圈这么黑，明显昨天晚上一定泡妞去了 You've black eyes, so you'd have fooled around last night.
这种事情毫无科学根据的嘛 But it's not scientific!
爸！ Dad!
Julian，不好意思，你去工作吧 Sorry, Julian, go to work.
他泡你呀？ Isn't he courting you?
不是！只是普通朋友！ No! We're just common friends.
我看他的面相 I can tell from his face.
两眼水汪汪，鼻大没端庄 His eyes are watery, ugly nose.
真是个大骗子！ He'd be a liar.
你凭什么这么说人家？ What made you say so?
凭我一双慧眼！ My intelligent eyes.
爸，你不要灌输那些迷信的思想给我 Don't teach me those superstitious thing.
你知道我一向都不相信这些的！ You konw I won't understand these fortune telling!
丫头！你今天过生日 Today is your birthday.
来，把汤喝了！ Come on, drink all these.
好了，我去工作了，拜拜 OK, I'll go to work.
记住！下班回家拜祖先！ Come home earlier to worship the ancestors.
女儿呀！出来拜祭祖先啦！ Daughter, come out to worship!
在干什么？ What are you doing?
女儿，出来拜祖先啦 Come out & send your regard.
爸，我在整理明天上课的资料 I'm doing my home work.
好了，不准看，先拜祖先，来 Stop it, come out & worship.
爸！你明知道念书的时候，我已经受洗过 You know, dad.
我是天主教徒，是不能够崇拜偶像的！ I'm a catholic! I can't do that!
你老爸我，就是靠这些偶像把你养大 You dad raised you up by worshipping!
你那个天主有没有给过你奶粉吃？ Has your God given you any milk powder?
你这样说你爸… How can you...
我不跟你争！ Stop it!
我过去鞠个躬，不要生气嘛！ I'll bow, OK? Don't get angry!
诚心一点 Be sincere!
好啦！ OK.
这样才乖嘛！ That's it!
今天晚上，老爸烧了你最爱吃的鲍鱼给你吃 I've cooked your favorite, abalone!
老爸，Julian约我出去 Dad, I've a date with Julian
就是那个大骗子？ That liar!
老爸，吃个饭听听音乐，这是很正常的 It's common to have a date, no big deal.
还很平常哩！ It's really a big deal!
你妈当年也是跟我吃了潮州菜 Your mom, after taken to the Chiu Chow restaurant by me
听听潮州戏，就被我搞定了！ And listened to the Chiu Chow song, she was mine them.
那你才是大骗子哦！ Oh, you are cheated mom.
我可是负责任的！ But I'm responsible.
放心啦老爸！你女儿是有分寸的！ Don't worry! Your daughter will not easy to be cheated.
我不愿意，谁也强迫不了我 If I'm not willing to, no one can force me.
我就是怕你愿意 But I'm afraid that you are willing.
我去开门 I'll open the door.
让我来 Let me open it.
嗨！伯父，不好意思啊！ Hi, Uncle, sorry!
叫什么名字 What's your name?
我叫朱高正，叫我Julian就可以了 Chu Ko Ching, you can call me Julian.
什么时候生的 What's your birthday?
1957年3月4号 March 4, 1957.
时辰呢？ Time?
上午八点 8 am.
可以啦！ Come in!
老爸，这有发什么神经？ Dad, what are you doing?
你没事吧？ Are you OK?
没事！这花送给你的，好不好看？ Fine, this is for you.
好看！谢谢你 It's beautiful! Thank you.
我去拿皮包 I'll fetch my hand bag.
好… OK.
女儿，听你老爸的话 Daughter, listen to me.
不要跟这种人出去 Don't go with him.
我会早点回来的！ I'll be back soon.
女儿，你是十灵时的女孩，很旺夫的 You are born at spiritual hour, you'll benefit your lover.
便宜了这家伙，他随时会当上院长的！ If you marry him, he'll be damn rich.
说的没错，我以前的两个男朋友 You are right, my ex-boyfriends.
一个做了副总裁，一个公司股票就要上市 One becomes vice-president, one owns a big company.
真的很旺夫！ I'm benefitial to my worse-half.
是呀！ Yes!
女儿！ Daughter!
你跟你老爸说什么？ What did you talk with your dad?
他说我是十灵时出生的，会旺夫益子啊 He said I was born at spiritual hour, I'll benefit my boyfriend.
你追不追呀？ Are you courting me?
追！当然追！我们走吧！ Sure, I will, let's go!
伯父，拜拜 Uncle, bye!
岂有此理！想打我女儿注意？ Damn! You dare to court my girl.
还好我记下你生辰八字了 I'm wise to keep your date of birth.
等着瞧吧你！ You'll wait and see.
你不会喝便别喝那么多酒啊！ Don't drink too much if you are not keen in drinking.
跟你在一块我高兴啊！ Cause I'm happytogether with you.
是不是这一家？ Isn't it your house?
是！ Yes.
声音是这样的！里面好像没人 It seems to be empty!
佣人放假去了！ My maid is on vacation today.
怎么醉成这个样子！ You are drunk.
我头好晕呀！ I feel dizzy!
你休息吧，我先走了！ Have a rest, I'm leaving.
我要你扶我到沙发！ Please take me to the sofa.
你小心点！ Be careful!
我走了！ I'm leaving.
我想喝杯水 I want a cup of water.
真烦！ It's noisy!
来，喝水 Come, have the water.
对不起，我帮你擦干净 Sorry, I'll clean it for you.
你不要闹，我自己来，我自己来可以了！ Stop it! I'll do it myself.
洗手间在那边！ Washroom is over there!
脱！快脱！快脱光！ Undress! Hurry up!
我老朱今天晚上要是吃不到你 If I can't make love with you.
我就不叫无敌泡妞王！ I'll never call myself invincible Romeo!
岂有此理！你这色鬼竟想上我女儿？ Damn! How you dare to court my girl.
一股臭味！洗个澡好了 It's stink! I'd have a bath!
遮眼！ Your eyes closed!
看不到了！为什么会这样呢？ Why can't I see?
还好！ I'm lucky!
真是爽死人！ It's really great!
你这个短命种！ You bastard!
让我先放点催情气给你问一下 Let me treat you some lustful gas.
看你还不发情？ You'll sure fall in love with me!
这下你跑不掉了吧？ You can't go this time!
先擦好神油，等着享受吧！ I'll make enjoy baby!
缩…阴盛阳衰！ Change to be a female!
急急如律令！ Now!
今天不会很冷呀！ Isn't cold today?
怎么找不到呢？ Why can't I find my dick?
不见了？ It's gone!
怎么会… Why...
怎么多了一条缝？ But I've got an additional organ?
惨了！ My god!
我怎么… Why I...
怎么连声音都变了女人？ My voice changed too!
Julian！ Julian！ Julian! Julian!
叫我？ Are you calling me?
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
我在找我的小弟弟 I'm finding for my dick.
我们兄弟俩失散了！ We lost each other!
我要你来陪我 I want you to accompany me!
来呀！ Come on!
我正在找呀 I'm finding for my dick!
摔你个半死，让你享受一下 I'll teach you good lesson, boy!
你做什么？干嘛这么心急？ What are you doing?
你怎么啦？ How are you?
鬼打后脑勺！ Confess now!
你有自虐狂？ You love self torture!
我不只有自虐狂，我还有偷窥狂 Also, I love peeping!
自恋狂，恋父狂，我8岁偷看人家洗澡 I love my dad madly!
10岁非礼老太婆，12岁就嫖妓 I indecent assaulted an old woman at 10, hooked at 12
13岁生花柳，我喜欢穿女人内裤 I got sex disease at 13, I love wearing ladies' underwear
我又喜欢吃蛋挞，我每上一个马子 I love cunnilingus, every girl I court.
我就拔她一根毛，用来打毛衣 I'll get one of her hair for sweater.
就是这一件毛衣了 See, this is made by hair.
我在说什么？ What am I saying?
你… You...
女儿，快醒醒 Wake up!
我在说什么？ What am I saying?
我带你去看看我的宝贝 I'll show you my baby.
阿婷！ Ting!
阿婷… Ting!
你不要走嘛！ Don't go!
今天晚上又辛苦你了 I've rely on you tonight.
这种人活该 He deserves it.
先让你做半个月的女人，再帮你解咒 I'll let you be women for 2 weeks.
为什么我的心跟眼皮都跳的这么厉害？ Why I feel bad luck?
左眼跳财，右眼跳灾 I feel something wrong!
难道会有什么不对？ Or, are there any omen?
7号机Call小胖，我在第8区 Fatty, I'm in zone 8.
这里有个货柜突然破了个大洞 I've seen a broken container.
不知道为什么原因请你过来看一下 Come & have look with me please!
小胖，喂… Fatty, hello.
小姐，你怎么了，你怎么会在这里？ Miss, why are you here?
我被几个坏人挟持到这 I was kidnapped by some bad guys.
他们想要强奸我 They wanted to rape me.
你没事吧？ Are you alright?
有啊！他们几个殴打我的胸部 They beated my chest.
你摸摸 Touch it!
还有淤血哩 I'm hurt.
你看看！ Look!
小宝宝，快睡觉！ Baby, go to sleep.
我儿子是六二年六月初八早上六点生的 My son was born on 8-6-62 at 6 am.
在你大陆治病两个多月了 He's gone to China to cure his sickness.
到现在一点消息都没有 But he hasn't informed us till then.
我帮你起个卦吧 I'll divine for you.
谢谢 Thanks.
怎么样啊？师傅 How is it?
照这个卦来看，他很平安 From this divine, he is safe.
那就好了 That's fine.
他回大陆治病应该会治得好 He'll be OK and will be cured.
谢谢你师父 Thank you.
慢慢走啊 Good bye.
谢谢 Thanks.
有没有人啊？ Any body here?
道士算不算是人呀？ Is taoist a human?
当然算！ Sure!
先生，请问你有什么指教？ What can I do for you?
我想查一个人的下落 I want find one person.
他跟你一样，是个道士 He is a taoist too.
他叫什么名字？我帮你起个卦 What's his name, I'll divine for you.
不是用铜钱起卦的吗？ You'd use coins.
是… Yes...
道道道 Tao Tao Tao...
再来又是道道道 Again, tao...
道道道… ...
这回可是乱糟糟了！ It's totally shit!
道士的名字我还没说 I haven't told you the taoist's name!
是，你请说 Please go ahead.
他叫林正 He is called Lam Ching.
林正… Lam Ching...
我来帮你查一下 I'll check it!
有这么先进的东西为什么要藏起来？ Why you hide such high tech thing from me.
形象问题，是形象问题嘛 It's the matter of image!
想跑 You wanna go?
林正在哪里？ Where is Lam?
妖孽！你跟他有什么冤仇？ Monter! What is the feud between you?
血海深仇！我们变得人不像人鬼不像鬼 He made me suffer from what I'm now.
都是拜他所赐 I'm not human nor ghost!
今天你就算不告诉我 Even you don't tell me.
我一样有办法知道 I've my way to find them.
我说 I'll tell you.
快说 Be quick!
林正他是我师弟 He is my junior.
他就住在秀竹园道50号 He lives in Sau Chu Yuen Rd. no. 50.
老爸，我出去了 Dad, I am going out.
该不是又跟那个姓朱的吧？ Are you going with that Chu?
早就把他给甩了！他是个大色郎 I brushed him off!He is a wolf!
对不对？你老爸一双慧眼不会看错人 I won't frame anyone, see!
我老爸，当然有两下子啦！ Sure, you are great!
老爸，我泡了你最喜欢的铁观音 I've made your favirite tea for you.
没事拍马屁，一定有所求了 Apple polishing! You must have some request.
你想干什么？ What do yo want?
我想… I...
我想要你去看看妈 I want you to see mom.
什么事都可以，就这件事不行！ No way!
我这不懂你们两个干嘛这么倔强 I don't know you two! Stubborn eggs!
又不是有第三者，又不是有十冤九仇 Are you enemies?
干嘛要一个住沙田，一个住香港 Why do you have to separate?
两个人不理不睬的？ And never talk to each other.
我们是因为天… Beacuse...
天地之间的问题辩不过而分开的 We seperated because of argument.
只要一天没有结果，永远不会复合 When there is no result, we'll never get together.
老爸，过两天是你们的结婚纪念日 Dad, 2days later is your anniversary.
不如你跟我… Why don't you...
你这种十灵时出生的人 You, girls born on spiritual hour.
口水很宝贵的！不要浪费了 You'd save your saliva!
老爸你不要这么说 Don't talk about that!
口水只是普通的分泌物，有什么特别的？ Saliva is nothing speciall!
告诉你，十灵时出生的男女 I tell you.
他们的口水可以服妖降魔 The one born at spiritual hour, their saliva can expel evils.
吐一口出来，连鬼都害怕 Your saliva scares any devil!
好恶心！我出去了！拜拜 It's disgusting! I'm leaving!
记住了，不要再约那个什么姓朱的了 Remember!Don't date with that Chu!
听到了没有？ Listened!
知道了！老爸！ I've got it!
这小迷糊蛋！留下一大堆东西！ Absent minded girl!
还好，还记得回来拿 Luckily, you remember your stuff!
开门！快点开门！ Open the door! Hurry up!
你怎么了？ How are you?
先把门关上！ Shut the door first!
你没事吧？ Are you OK?
师弟，大祸临头呀！ Ching! Big Trouble!
你在泰国收服的那两个雌雄大盗 The notorious thieves you've caught in Thailand.
乃密跟金莎，已经被降头师练成了[阴阳尸] They become Terrific Vampire now.
现在来到香港，要找你报仇！ And come to HK to take their revenge!
[阴阳尸]？ Terrific Vampire!
是啊！他们追到道术协会 TYes, they came to Taoist's Association.
我千方百计才逃出来的 I've tried my best to escape!
既然这样，我现在去祖师爷前面起个卦 So, I'll divine in front of our master.
你怎么知道我不是老道士？ How do you know I'm not taoist?
第一，他从来不叫我师弟 1st, he never mention my name.
而是叫我阿正！第二， And secondly,
他跟我很少来往，根本不知道我去过泰国 He is not so close to me, he doesn't know my visit to Thailand.
第三，他以前修道不用功，功力低微 3rd, he is a poor taoist.
如果遇到厉害的妖物 If facing a great enemy.
他根本逃不掉 He can never escape.
聪明！ Smart ass!
林正你虽然这么聪明 Although you are clever.
但是你今天还是跑不掉！ You can never escape!
哼！中国道法的法术，对我们一点用也没有 Chinese taoist can do nothing to me.
就算你们的神，对我们也完全没有约束力 Even your Gods, will do nothing to me.
无形剑法赐中宫 See my sword!
纯阳真气往指冲！ Sword energy from my finger!
洞宾伏妖显神通 God Lui will show his force.
怎么回事啊？ What's wrong!
阿婷！ Ting!
老爸！ Dad!
快走呀！ Go!
老爸，怎么回事啊？ Dad, what's wrong!
吐口水！ Spit!
为什么？ Why?
快点吐口水！ Spit!
到底什么事啊！ What happened?
快点吐口水！快吐呀！ Spit! Hurry up!
走！ Go!
十灵时出生的女人！ A girl born at spiritual hour！
她是十灵时出生的女人！ She is born at spiritual hour！
不管她逃到哪儿，都要找到她 We'd get her within 3 days.
三天之内，吃了她的脑汁 After eating her brain.
那我们就是魔中之魔了 We'll become the king of evil spirits!
你带我来警察局干什么？ Why do you take me to police station?
发生了这种事情，当然要报案啦！ Sure we'd report to police!
我们现在的仇家不是黑社会 Our enemy isn't triads!
是妖怪呀！你懂不懂？ It's monster! understand?
那你等一下跟警官说你遇到妖怪了 So tell the police the truth!
人家会说你有问题 They will say you insane!
哪位叫林小婷？ Whos is Lam Siu Ting?
有没有叫林小婷的？ Any Lam Siu Ting?
不可能是他吧？ Impossible!
有没有叫林小婷的？ Any Lam Siu Ting?
医生，是你呀？ It's you, doctor!
真是没想到医生你也会出麻烦了 I can't imagine doctor'll report police.
有什么不对劲呢？ What's wrong with you?
我就是林小婷 I'm Lam Siu Ting.
你在家里被人家袭击呀？ You are being attacked?
不用问了，一定是寻仇 It must be a revenge
你怎么知道？ How do you know?
像你这么鸡婆，一定是仇人满天下 You are so cocky, so you must have many enemies.
臭小子，别那么神气！ Bastard! Don't be so proud!
我看你青筋浮现，印堂发暗 Look at you! I can tell you bad luck.
做到死都是两手空呀！ You'll be poor all over this life.
张牙舞爪，目露凶光，早晚被剥光！ You'll never have good luck!
你男朋友？ Your boyfriend?
一样有够鸡婆！ Same cocky as you.
这位是我爸爸，你再侮辱他我告你！ He is my dad, I'll sue you if you insult him.
两父女呀！ You are his daughter!
难怪两个一个德行！ That' why you are the same.
伯父，你不要耍宝啦！ Uncle, don't play tricks!
是你椅子自己走开的！ Your seat walks itself!
明明是你用脚踢，还说椅子自己走开？ You kicked it!
如果椅子会从这走到那边去的话 If it walks from here to that end.
那你怎么说？ What will you say?
好！我就把关二爷前面的香全部吃光 I'll eat all the incense in front of the God.
这是你说的！ You promise it!
我看，你有好几天不用吃饭了 I think you needn't eat for few days.
臭小子！ Bastard!
关二爷是我们尊敬的神 We respect te God.
我怎么会跟他抢饭吃呢？ How can I take his food?
不要说那么多了，我们的帐慢慢算 Cut the crap! Let's settle our affair later.
坐下！ Sit down!
什么名字？ Name?
林正 Lam Ching.
住哪里？ Where do you live?
整个香港 All of Hong Kong
好了好了，你们问这挺老套！ Stop it! Stop these nonsense question.
现在我家里有个怪人 I've got a monster at home.
你不去查查看，还在这里跟我爸爸怄气 Why don't go & check?
你是不是干警察的？ Are you police?
什么怪人？ What monter?
穿着皮衣皮裤的怪人 A monster wearing leather suits.
你跟他说没用的，女儿 It's useless to tell him this.
那是个妖怪 That's monster!
他去查看就会被那油炸鬼吃掉！ If he go & investigate, he'll be eaten.
妖怪！ Monster?
你想吓唬人也用黑社会的字号 If you want to scare me use triad language.
用妖怪的字号在这里是没用的 Monster will do nothing here.
看到没有？这里是关二爷罩的 See, God protects us.
我告诉你，这是泰国妖怪 I tell you, it's monster from Thailand.
而泰国的降头术是由印度传入的 The sorcery of Thailand is imported from India.
跟我们的神佛世界不一样 Their believes are different from us.
关二爷跟他是河水不犯井水 Our God has no relation with them.
收服不了他的！ He can do nothing to it.
故事说得很好听！为什么不上电视？ Why don't you tell stories in TV?
长官，你到底派不派人到我家看看？ Are you sending people to my home?
好！你带我去！如果发现你报假案 OK. I'll go with you, if I find out it's a mischief.
你的麻烦可大了！ You'll be in deep shit!
可以！ OK!
女儿，你不能去，要去叫他们自己去 Daughter, you can't go! Just ask them go!
老爸，交给警方处理吧 Dad, let's hand it to the police.
聪明！胖九，跟我一块走 Smartie, Fatty, come with me.
请吧！ Please.
不准带我女儿去！ Don't take my daughter away!
你想袭警呀？ Do ou want to assault police officer?
放手！ Hands off!
别动！ Don't move!
长官，你不要乱来啊！ Officer, don't get mad!
好！ OK.
老伯，不知道我这把洋枪 Do you know my gun?
可不可以收服你家的妖怪？！ Can kill the monster you mentioned?
不可以 No!
你有问题啊？ Are you idiot?
我现在控告你袭警，还有妨碍公务 I'm sueing you assault of PC.
兄弟，扣留他二十四小时，带他去 Buddy, detain him for 24 hous.
快走！ Hurry up!
女儿！千万不要回去呀！ Daughter! Don't go back!
那个[阴阳尸]很厉害的！ The Terrific Vampire is really powerful!
少罗嗦！ Shut up!
不要推我，我会走 Don't push me, I can go myself.
走吧，带我去你家 Go! Take me to your home.
一个人也没有 None o person here.
可能都走掉了 Maybe it's gone.
你不要骗我 Don't cheat me.
那边有个房间 There is a room over there.
过去看看 Go & have a look.
对不起，对不起! Sorry...
你是不是耍我？ Are you fooling me?
房间里头有个女人 There is a woman inside.
不可能，这屋子里只有我一个女的 Impossibl! I'm the only woman in this house.
我去看看 I'll go & have a look.
人呢？ Where is it?
刚才明明在这里梳头的 I saw her combing hair here.
在这里梳头？！ Combing here?
是啊！就坐在这里！ She must sat here.
你是不是眼花？ Are you sure?
不可能啊！ Impossible!
他没有眼花 He is right.
胖九！胖九… Fatty...
出来… Come out!
天堂有路你不走，地狱无门闯进来 How dare you enter the gate to hell
小丫头，你算是自投罗网了 Baby, you just make a deed set at yourself.
你是谁？ Who are you?
不要过来，站定，我是CID Don't come over! I'm cop!
你不认识我呐？ Don't you know me?
这个呢？ Who is this?
就是他！他就是刚才那个人 That's him! He is the one we just see.
真的…真的有妖怪啊！ Monster! It's true.
不要过来 Don't come over!
小伙子，你也算有灵气 You are gifted!
来姐姐这边，让姐姐亲你一下 Come here, let me kiss you boy.
死花痴！见了男儿就要吃 You bitch! You want to eat man!
你…你们两个不要过来！站住啊！ Don't come near! Freeze!
我的枪不长眼睛的！ I'll shoot!
你不要晕，你要保护我 Don't faint, you've to protect me.
那谁来保护我？！ Then who'll protect me?
刚才是哪个王八蛋提议上来的？ Who suggested to come?
是你呀！ It's you.
这下我们两个死定了 We'll be in deep shit!
不要过来… Don't come over!
走啦… Go!
长官，那个CID大B回来了没有？ Has the CID, Bee come back?
你蹲在这里，我也蹲在这里 I'm staying with you!
你以为我有特异功能，我怎会知道外面的事 Don't you think I've supernatural power
你可以出去看一看嘛！ You can gou & check!
我领的是女皇的薪水，又不是你的 I'm paid by the Queen! Not you.
这次叫我去看看 You ask me to check now
搞不好下次叫我帮你叫个女人 May be you'll ask for a woman next!
神经病！ Idiot!
岂有此理，这么跩！ Damn it!
让我用张狂笑符来伺候你 I'll teach you a lesson with this laughing charm.
待会你一踩到，就会让你笑个半死！ Once you step on it, you can't stop laughing.
长官，床下面有条蛇！ Sir, there is a snake under the bed.
你快过来看看 Please come & have a look!
长官，床下面有蛇！快过来看看 Hurry up!
哪里有蛇？ Where is it?
在我裤裆里面 It enters my trousers!
老头，你不要唧唧歪歪！ Old man, don't play tricks.
不然我多加你一条妨碍公务罪！ Or I'll sue you obstructing police work.
怎么会没踩到呢？ He'd have stepped on it.
女儿也不知道怎么样啦？ My daughter makes me worry!
长官… Sir!
怎么？！你说他家里有妖怪？ What? You said there is monster i his home?
是啊！ Yes.
是啊！还一个半男半女忽男忽女的妖怪！ It's a bisexual monster!
是妖怪还是同性恋？ Bisexual or monster?
不是呀！是真的！ No! I mean it!
是一个会把拿东西伸出来的妖怪呀 I t can be male or female!
你跟我都会把东西伸出来的 Are you kidding?
长官，你要相信我 Please trust me!
你知道我大B是从来不说谎话的！ You know I never lie!
你不说谎话那才奇怪呐！ You are lying now.
你经常找借口偷懒！ You always find excuse to avoid from duty.
这一回又想拿医生证明来请假 You take the doctor's testimonial for sick leave again.
只上班半个月！ You just have duty for half month only.
小姐，你是他的女人吗？ Miss, are you his woman?
长官，你说话放尊重点！ Please mind your tongue.
我是林小婷医师 I'm doctor Lam Siu Ting!
我可以告你毁谤我！ I'll sue you of insulting!
对不起，我只是不相信这无的事而已 Sorry! But I just won't believe in such ridiculous story!
Dic…Dic…，干你个Dic（的）啦！ Damn you!
长官，那个妖怪真的好恐怖呀！ The monster is really horrible!
你干我？你想不相信我调你的职？！ Don't you think I'll transmit you to another team?
长官，请你马上调飞虎队过去吧！ Please ask the SDU to kill it!
我怕那个妖怪会害死很多人呀！ I'm afraid it'll kill more & more people.
还有，我们也不安全呀！ Also, we're not safe.
你在警察局，你怕什么？ What are you scaring? You are in police station.
难道他还敢杀进来吗？ Don't you think it'll attack us here?
什么事啊？ What's the matter?
我找一个十灵时出生的女孩子 I'm finding a girl who is born at spiritual hour.
失踪少女？ A missing girl?
我找这个人！ I'm looking fir this one.
是捡到的？ Isn't it picked up by you?
你找死？！ Do you want to die?
有枪声！ There is gun shoot!
长官，放我出去，放我出去，有妖怪来啦 Let me out,the monster is here.
你这王八蛋！不要走呀！ You bastard! Don't go!
那个女人在里面，快去找她！ The woman is inside, go & find her.
什么事？ What's going on?
妖怪！妖怪杀进来了 The monster's come.
有妖怪？！ Monster?
他不怕子弹的！ It scares no bullets!
长官，你没听到吗？！那妖怪不怕子弹的 Listened! It scares no bullets!
让开！你到我去 Get lost! Take me out!
那我们怎么办？ What'll we do?
你先走吧 You'd better leave first.
不行那我爸爸呢？ No! How about my dad?
你放他出来呀！ Let him out!
我怎么可以放他呐？！ How can I do that?
不行呀！他找不到我就会找我老爸的啦 If it can't find me, it'll go to my dad.
糟！ Shit!
住手！ Stop that!
十灵时你出生的女孩子在哪里？ Where is that girl?
不要过来！ Don't come over!
你不说我们照样会知道！ I'll know it if you don't tell.
走呀！ Go!
在他办公室！ In his office!
老爸… Dad!
你来啦？ You are here?
笑什么？ What are you laughing?
我不知道！ I don't know.
钥匙给我，快放我爸爸 Give me the keys. Let go of my dad.
我不知道为什么那么好笑！哈… Why do I laugh so happily?
你干什么？ What are you doing?
我不知道！哈… I don't know.
我快被你气死了！ I'm driven mad by you!
女儿，妖怪来了 Daughter, the monster is coming.
你不要管我，你快走 Go! Don't care about me!
不行老爸！我不能扔下你 I can't leave you alone!
你在这里会连累我的！ You'll drag us down if you are here.
你放心，我会对付他的！ Don't worry! I'll handle it.
你快走吧！ Leave now!
我不知道为什么那么好笑！哈… Why do I laugh so happily?
你中了狂笑符！ You've stepped on the laughing charm.
拿三只母蟑螂，三只公蟑螂加上自己一杯尿 Have 3 male & female cockroaches, plus a cup of your urine
喝下去就没事了！ Drink it, it'll be fine.
这下真糗大啦！ Shit!
女儿，你快带他走呀！快走！ Dauhghter, take hie away, quick!
快走啦！ Hurry up!
爸爸，你小心呀！ You'd be careful!
你放心，我没事的！快走！ I'll be fine! Go!
憋着呀！再笑会死人呀！ Hold it, or we'll be dead!
我憋不着！ I can't control myself!
憋不住是不是？ Can't you?
现在憋住了！ Now, it's alright!
可是没用了！ But it's useless!
不要过来… Don't come over!
不要过来，我又关二爷罩呀！ I am protected by God!
怕啦？！怕啦就快滚了！ Scared? The, get lost!
我们有关二爷罩呀！不用怕啦！ We are protected by God, what we scared?
吐他！吐他！ Spit!
他怕你呀！ He scares you!
他怕我的口水！ He scares my saliva!
那你快吐他！吐他呀！ So, spit!
我嘴巴好干，没有了！ I have got no secretion!
那怎么办？ What we do?
我不知道！ I don't know!
好，我给你！ OK, I'll give you.
厉害！ Great!
我又没笑，你干嘛抓我这里！ Why you take me here?
臭道士！ Damn you taoist!
你想怎么样？ What do you want?
你女儿在哪里？ Where is your daughter?
回美国去了！ She's gone back to U.S.A.
我知道你不会说，但是我有办法！ I've my way to know it.
你想咬手指？！ You want to bite fingers?
我来帮你咬！ I'll help you.
不用客气！大家没那么熟！ We're not so close! Thank you!
他们跑了！ They've gone!
他们去了哪里？ Where have they gone?
不知道！ Don't know!
我有办法知道！哈… I've got my way to know it.
司机，下车 Driver, top here.
下流！ Asshole!
你摸我还说我下流？！ Why do you ask me asshole?
你不下流怎么翘起来呀？！ If you aren't, why is yours erected?
我们凑钱给你们开房间 Should we give you money for motel?
管你们屁事呀？！我没钱吗？ None of your business! I've money!
停车！ Stop!
你生气啦？ Are you angry?
才没空跟你生气呐！ I've no time to angry with you.
到啦！ We've arrived!
你妈到底住哪里？ Where does your mim live?
这么大地方怎么着？ It's so big?
哥哥，你露营呀？ Are you camping?
露什么营？ What?
你不露营干嘛设这么大个帐篷呀？ If not camping, why do you et such a big camp?
到了没有？ Are we arrived?
干什么？ What's it?
有血渍！ Blood!
难道… Should it...
快走呀！ Let's go!
那个是我妈，我怎么也要进去看看 She is my mom, I've take a look.
你想送死吗？ Do you want to be killed?
你不要管我！ Forget about me!
到处都是血！ Blood everywhere!
你这个死瘟鸡！到处跑，弄得满屋子都是血 Damn you hen! Yo make my home bloody.
去你妈的小杂种！ Damn you!
这下看你往哪跑？！ See where are you going!
妈 Mom
女儿，怎么会是你来？ Why you are here?
伯母 Auntie!
好…好 Fine!
伯母，你流口水啦. Auntie, your saliva...
正常的！ It's normal!
正常？！ Normal!
这个是我未来女婿呀？ Because I've met my son-in-low would be.
她？！别做梦啦！ She?! Stop dreaming!
那带他回来干什么？ So why do you take him here?
我们被妖怪追 We are chased by monster!
对，妖怪！ Yes, monster!
你先别说！ Stop!
来 Come!
走！ Go!
这个[阴阳尸]果然厉害！说都不能说的 This Terrific Vampire is really powerful!
伯母，究竟这两个之人是什么东西？ What is it for?
是我的线民！专门干包打听！ They are my informer!
这死老头被妖怪抓走了！ The old bluffer is caught by the monster.
那老爸有没有危险？ Will he be in danger?
还好这老头子肯做缩头乌龟！ He's willing to be coward!
暂时他还可以自保 So he is safe now.
不过这个妖怪他的要输神通 But the vampire is really powerful.
很快就会找到这个地方来了 It'll soon find this place.
别客气，那我先走了 Well, I'd better go!
那个妖怪见过你，你走到天涯海角 The monster's seen you, whereever you go.
他都会找到你 It can find you.
妈，难道你也没有办法？ Do you have any idea?
是啊！ Yeah!
没办法就是没办法呐！ No!
你老妈这几十年，只会练一些… Yourmom's just practiced something...
不行搞到行，不硬搞到硬，肥婆变瘦婆 Positive to negative, negative to positive.
小奶变大奶 Small to big & fat thin socery.
我只练这些法术 Which can do nothig to the monster.
抓妖怪？！我不是很内行 To arrest it, I can't help.
这种玩意找整容医生就可以啦 To make it big, you can go to plastic surgery clinic.
干嘛还找你呀？！ Why should the client go to you?
少废话，我去找一下书 Cut the crap, I'll look into the reference book.
有了！ I've got it!
怎么样？ How is it?
女儿，你是十灵时出生的女孩子 You are born at spiritual hour.
只要找一个也是十灵时出生的处男跟你交合 You'd find a virgin who's born at spiritual hour to
就可以克制那个[阴阳尸]了 To get intercourse, then you can defeat the monster.
一定要处男？！ Virgin?!
当然是要处男才行 Sure!
不是老妈要说你 I don't mean to criticize you.
我看你的眉毛稀稀，屁股松松的 See, your eyebroe is loose, fat bottom.
恐怕你也靠不住咯 I think you aren't virgin.
伯母，你知道吗，这个年头想找个处女真难 Auntie, it;s hard to find a virgin these years.
找个恐龙恐怕还有一点小小的希望 There ay be hope to find a dragon.
你说什么？ What did you say?
本来啊！ Isn't correct?
别吵了！所以要找个处男 Shut up! So to find a virgin.
且一定要十灵时出生的 Who is born at spiritual hour.
到哪儿找呀？ Where to get him?
有了！你找铁板神算董得多就行啦 Go to the famous fortunr teller Mr. Tung.
他每天跟好几个人算命 He tells fortune everyday.
有很多八字可以让我们选呀！ Maybe, he can give us some reference.
一字记之曰[近] Remember the word "nearby".
近？！什么叫近？！ What's that mean?
这个十灵时的男孩子离我们很近 Our target is near us.
就算近也不知道是谁呀！ But we don't know his name.
这个糟老头也已经看过了 That old bluffer' checked it already.
一字记之曰[整]呀！ Remember the word "Fool".
怎么说？ What's it?
整人的整呀！ Fool! Fooling people, got it?
收我五千块钱，没有一句是对的 He charged me $5000, but nothing is correct.
老头，你认不认得我？ Do you remember me?
记得，很少人会像你这么抠门 Sure, no one knocks the like you.
算命还要分期付款的 And pay in terms of installment.
你说什么？你敢挖苦我？！ How can you tease me?
给哦闭嘴 Shut up!
大师，那你算过这么多命，有没有记录？ Do you have any record of your fortunr telling?
有 Yes.
这么多书！ So many books.
大师，这么查法要查到什么时候？ When will you get the answer like this?
要快点是不是？ Hurry up!
行 Sure!
有电脑！干嘛不早说？ Computer! Why don't you use it earlier?
不要乱动，很名贵的 Don't touch! It's expensive.
十灵时… Spiritual hour...
我？！ I...
是呀！不行吗？ Yes!
你过来 Come over here!
你是不是处男？ Are you virgin?
伯母，这个问题设计到个人隐私的！ This is my secret.
不说？！ Don't you tell me?
我有权不回答你的问题 I've my right not to tell you.
说不说？！ Tell or not?
你们母女两个怎么都一样的 You are the same as your daughter.
喜欢抓人家这里！ You love to grab my dick!
你怎么会找不到？ Why can't I find it?
发情大法！可以用！ The methid of Flower-love.
发情大法，所需要用的材料有 Te material needed includes...
卖剩的甘蔗 Sugar cane.
箩低的柳丁 Orange.
檐前的滴水 Rain water.
和尚的头发 Monk's hair.
还有更少不了的是，大蛇拉的尿 And urine of snake.
最后就是用肥婆的眼屎两粒，鼻屎做引 And eye secrete and nose secrete of a fat woman.
七碗熬八分满 Cook a long time...
圣女贞德也变花痴！ A pure virgin will be tempted.
如果这样不发情的话 If you won't be tempted.
我就切了 I'll chop my dick out.
我看报警吧！ Why not call the police?
难道我不是警察？！报警！ Am I a police?
上一次警察局已死了很多兄弟 Many of our buddies were killed!
就算叫飞虎队来一样是送死！ Even the SDU comes, they'll be dead!
你们两个还吵？！吵…吵什么？ Shut up!
叫你们两个去做一做，那不是什么事都没了吗？ Why don't you just make love, that's fine.
太便宜他 I didn't want to give him advantage.
我这个十灵时的处男，你以为容易找吗？ It's not easy to find a virgin born at spiritual hour.
比你不知道珍贵了多少倍！ I'm much more valuable than you.
你变态！是同性恋呀！ You are abnormal! Gay!
你说我张国强是同性恋？！ You mean I'm gay?
有张国两个字就蛮接近了 I think so!
怎么样？怎么样呀？ What's it?
不服气？！你的小屁股有我的又圆又翘吗？ Is your ass more cute than mine?
神经病！ Idiot!
女儿，不要理他这种人！ Forget this guy!
先喝碗汤降降火气 Let's drink some soup first.
我不想喝！我哪有心情喝啊！ I've no mood to drink it.
乖，妈花了很多功夫熬的 But I've wasted lot of time making it.
妈妈喂你 I'll feed you.
多喝一点… Come on!
妈！ Mom!
你真好！ You are nice!
强哥！ Brother Keung.
你要做什么？ What do you want?
你不要乱来！ Don't get mad.
来呀…过来呀！ Come on!
千万不要露营呀… No camping!
念经！空即是色，色即是空… Oh my god!
强哥，哪里空呀？ Brother Keung, what are you doing?
一点也不空呀！ Are you hot?
我！…空即是色，色即是空… Oh my god!
惨了！搭成整个军营了 My god!
我快顶不住了！ I can hardly control myself.
拜托你不要再过来了 Please don't come over!
我怎么过得来呢？！ How can I get over here?
你已顶住我了！ You've blocked my way!
天啊！天要亡我了！ Oh, my god!
好！今天我看是难逃你的魔掌了 I think I'd be captured!
来吧 Come on!
我先来 T'll come first!
吓死人啦！ You scare me!
我来了！ I'm coming!
真是降火！ It's really comfortable!
马上消了！谢了！ The fire is over, thank you.
小子，你往哪里去？！ Bastard! Where are you gong?!
不如我们先聊一下 Why not have a chat first?
我跟你没什么好聊的，大婶！ We've nothing to chat!
你没有？！我有！ But I have!
你不要吵了！人家最喜欢地遮天的！ Shut up! I love doing on the man.
我跟我那个死鬼吵架翻脸分手 We have been broken up!
就是因为他不肯给我地盖天，一定要天盖地 Because he goed against me.
这下便宜你了 So, I'll benefit you then.
不要吵了！ Shut up!
难怪老爸说你们是因为天地之间的问题分手的 So you 2 broke up because of such affair.
她何止可以地盖天 Still more!
简直要蒙着黑布才能入港呀！ His behavior is weird!
我要… I want!
救命呀！…强奸呀！…非礼呀！ Help! Rape! Help!
走呀…你快走呀！ Go! You'd better go!
拜托！走呀！ Please! Go!
饶恕我饶恕我！怎么会这样？！ Forgive me!Why it's a mess?
你这个混小子居然敢占我便宜？！ How dare you take my advantage?
大婶，你逼奸不成，还想恶人先告状？！ You just want to rape me!
你老老实实跟我说，你有没有吃过我的叉烧包 Be frank, have you...
你那个叉烧包是超太空合金做的 No, I didn't!
想要吃你的，还咬不动的！ Because It's too hard for me to try it.
我还差点失身呀！ I've almost lost my virgin.
又来了？ Come again?
老妈，发生什么事？ What happened?
妖怪跟你爸爸已经来了 The monster's come with your dad.
不用抵抗！ Don't resist!
这只手可以随时拿到你脑袋里的思想和记忆 I can easily get your memory & your thoughts.
比进超级市场还容易 It's too easy for me.
老道士，原来你也有这么多风流史呀？！ Taoist! You are quiet a wolf!
蛮好色的嘛！ You love courting!
不如把手放进我的裤裆里！ Why don't you put your hand in my trousers.
你喜欢吗？ Love it?
不…不要开玩笑！ No kidding!
应该已经到了！ It'd have arrived!
你轻一点行不行？ Softer, please.
你不要胡思乱想来干扰我！ Don't diturb me! Be oncentrate!
我想想我泡马子的事行不行？！ I just think about my girlfriends.
月上柳梢头，人约黄昏后… I've a date...
快走！ Go! Quick!
昨夜岸边我四边瞧，水上妹妹长得俏 I watched you on shore...
惹得我神魂又颠倒 I'm crazy about you.
我叫他阿娇… I called her Cutie.
我看你还能唱多久？！ I'll wait you.
你有一套 You are something!
我当然有一套呀！ Sure!
起来！走！ Get up! Let's go!
我请你们两个快点搞定 Please make love now.
不然妖怪一来我也受不了！ Or I can't resist the monster.
我怎么也不要！ No!
大不了我走！ Well, I'm leaving!
这么容易走吗？ It's not so easy!
小妞，我们找你很久了！ We've been long for you.
妈，我好怕！ Mom, I'm scared!
你终于害怕啦！ You are cared eventually!
刚才怎么求你都不肯 Why didn't you do as I begged?
现在你要做都来不及了！ Now there is no more time for you to do so.
我先到外面去撑一下 I'll go out & delay them.
妈！ Mom!
你还傻瓜的站着干什么？ What are you doing here?
赶快走吧 Go!
你带我来厕所干什么？！ Why do you take me to toilet?
找个门出去呀！ To find a door to get out.
这道门锁住呀！ It's locked!
锁住了？！ Locked!
铁窗也焊死了 The windows are sealed!
那现在怎么办？ What'll we do now?
有了！ I've got it.
肥婆，你想烧死我？！ Fatty, you want to burn me?
你个死老头，带个妖怪来找我 You bastard! You bring this monster to me?
老头就还给你 I'll give you back!
肥婆…厉害！ Fatty! Fantastic!
你个死老头居然想把我神坛拆了！ You want to break my holy table?
神坛火屎！ Watch me!
这样都弄不死他！ This is harmless!
神坛火屎，不灵了吧！ Isn't it worked?
让开！ Get away!
真行！穿着外裤也可以把内裤脱下来 How can you undress your underwear?
你学什么的？ What did you learn?
道术呀！ Taoism!
就是咯! That is!
给我戴上！ Wear it!
妈的！我砍死你！ I'll kill you!
别冲动呀！ Be calm!
我砍，我砍，我砍… I kill...
我劈，我劈，我劈… I chop...
我砍死你！ I'll kill you!
这样还不死？！ You don't die?
肥婆，我早说过那两下子过时了！ I've said yours are out dated!
你闭嘴！ Shut up!
把女儿交出来就放你们一条生路 Give the girl to me, I'll let you go.
好！有本事你来抓！ OK, come if you have guts!
走！ Go!
快，快点，老头子！ Let's go!
爸，没事了啊？！ Are you OK?
什么没事，妖怪来了！ OK?! The monster is coming!
让我来！ I'll do it!
后生可畏，我先走啦 I'd better leave first, youngster!
不要怕呀！ Don't be afraid!
那现在怎么办？ What'll we do now?
走啊！ Go!
王八蛋！ Bastard!
走！ Go!
幸亏那个条子跟妖怪同归于尽 Lucky that the cop died togeter with the monster!
快走啦！ Let's go!
女儿呢？ Where is our daughter?
她刚才不是跟着来的吗？ Is she followed?
救命呀！ Help!
老头子，你看女儿呀！ Look! Our daughter!
女儿你怎么样？ How are you?
先把石头搬开 Remove the stone first!
好痛呀… I'm hurt!
肥婆，快把女儿拖出去 Fatty, drag her out!
不要碰我 Don't touch me.
我的手和脚好像断了一样 My legs & hands seem to be broken.
老头子，那怎么样？ What'll we do?
没关系没关系 It doesn't matter!
大B呢？ Where is Bee?
他在那儿! He is there!
快点去救他！ Go & save him!
他被台柜压住了 He is under the table.
你虽然很神勇，也不要这样破坏呀！ Although you are brave, you'd not rui like this.
你说你断了多少根骨头！我一定比你还多！ I'm serious hurt!
这时候还争什么呀！ Stop arguing!
老爸，那妖怪呢？ Where is that monster?
幸好那个妖怪终于被消灭了 It is destroyed!
真是完满结局啊！ That's happy ending!
惨了！ I'm in deep shit!
那….那怎么办？ What'll we do?
老头子，快把他们分开呀！ Separate them?
你以为离婚呀？说分就分！ You guess it's like divorce?
快走啦！ Let's go!
快点！ Hurry up!
你先下去！ You go down first.
走啦！ Go!
你轻一点！你是不是医生呀？ Lighter, are you doctor?
好了没有 OK?
好了 我去帮小婷 OK, I'll help Siu Ting.
不用了，我已经帮她弄好了 No need! We've helped.
你也行？！ Can you?
我是跌打医生，你只不过多张文凭而已 I'm doctor too! But you have a cert, I haven't.
我来 I will do it.
请你慢一点 Slowly!
来…坐下 Please, sit down
我真不知道你们受了伤怎么不去医院呀？ I wonder why didn't you go to hosptital?
你用点脑子吧！ Use your brain!
那妖怪神通广大，香港有几间医院呀？ The monster is powerful! How many hospital in HK.
就算躲到那间诊所，也会被找到！ Even we hide in a clinic, it'll find us.
总比这个地方好！ But hospital is better!
最危险的地方就是最安全的地方 The most dangerous place is the safest place!
妖怪来过这里，知道我们从这里走出去 We ran out from here!
他一定想不到我们还有胆子会到这里来 The monster'll never guess we've guts to return.
我实在搞不懂你在说什么东西 Actually I don't know what're you saying.
警察也认为是大陆仔做的 Cops think that it's done by Mainlanders.
医生你就只会看病 Doctor can cure people only.
如果警方都讲出来这件事是妖怪做的话 If the cops confess it's done by monster.
那全香港的市民不全都跑光了吗？ All hongkies will leave!
你全身就只有这张嘴还能动 You can tell only?!
你给我闭嘴 Shut up!
你有本事的话，就将屁股转过来 If you have power, turn!
看我会不会动！ To see can I move or not?
你呀，少在这里跟我啰里啰嗦的 Cut the crap!
有本事就把你的处男交出来 If you have guts. show us your virgin.
我实在搞不懂你在说什么东西 Actually I don't know what're you saying.
小婷，我先走了 Siu Ting I'm leaving.
你小心点 Be careful.
这几片柚子叶给你拿去擦擦身子 Take these leaves to clean your body.
不然你身上有十灵时的味道 Or you'll keep the smell of spiritual hour.
很容易被那个妖怪闻到的 It'll be easily traced by the monster.
是真的！ Really!
我走了，拜拜！ I'm leaving! Bye!
鬼才相信 I'll never believe.
小婷，大B，我看你们不要再坚持了 Don't be stubborn.
现在唯一破[阴阳尸]的方法 The only way to defeat the monster.
就是你们两个交合 Is your intercourse.
交合后会怎么样？ What'll it be after that?
那我就不知道啦 I don't know.
不知道？！不知道还想我白白牺牲童子鸡呀？！ So you want me to waste my virgin?
小子，凡是男人十个有九个的童子鸡 Almost all the boy's virgin.
都拿去喂鸡的 Go to the hookers!
我小婷人美身材好，这下真是便宜你了呀！ Siu Ting is so beautifu;! You're benefited!
现在我才不肯呀！你以为你是宝吗？！ Don't you think you are great?
我真拿你们两个没办法！ I've no way persuade you!
我看我们马上坐飞机到别的地方去 We'd better take a plane and leave HK.
那[阴阳尸]从泰国追到香港 The monster came from Thailand.
我们走，他们追！ We leave, it'll come too.
我们能躲到哪里去呢？！ Where'll we end?
而且我们是修道之人，有降魔伏妖的责任 We are taoists, we've the responsbility to kill it.
不可以一走了之 We can't go this way!
任由那个妖怪害人 And let it kill!
那现在怎么办？ What'll we do then?
对呀！就算意思意思 Yes! Even it's fake.
也要培养一点感情！ Just develop some kind of mood first.
行…我弄些黄色电影给你们看 I'll show you some sex film.
你给我闭嘴 Shut up!
我拿主意，为你们搞些气氛 Have some atmosphere!
朱医生，这里这么多人，不要这样啊！ Doctor Chu, don't do this!
你干什么？ What're you doing?
你去过哪里？ Where have you gone?
神经病！我去过哪里关你什么事？ Idiot! It's none of your business!
走开！ Get lost!
先生，你不能进去 Sir, you can't go in.
别这样 Don't do that!
他的身上有十灵时的味道 He's got the smell of spiritual hour.
我有办法 I've got an idea.
进来 Come in.
医生… Doctor...
你有什么事？ What's the matter with you?
我来检查！ I want a check!
检查？！检查什么？！ Check what?
乳癌呀！ Bust cancer!
乳癌？！那你找对人了 You've found the right person.
我是本港乳房科主任医生及亚洲第一号专家 I'm the expert!
你可没找错人呀！ You are wise to come to me.
那我就放心了 I don't have to worry then.
医生… Doctor...
正不正点呀？ Isn;t it nice?
正点呀！ Sure!
你甩不掉的 You can't go!
为什么？ Why?
你是不是跟那个林小婷见过面？ Have you met Lam Siu Ting?
没有啊 No.
你最好老实说！ Say it!
我不知道…我不知道… I don't konw...I don't konw...
好，我就让你跟我老婆好一次 I'll let you make love with my wife.
你跟她做过爱之后，就变成鬼奴 After mating, you'll be my slave.
永远受我的差遣！ Serve me forever!
可以来了 You can go ahead now.
老爸，怎么来呀？！ How?
对呀，怎么来呀？！ Yeah, how?
你管他这么多！ Just care nothing!
你骑上去来个地盖天，不就把他吃掉了嘛！ Climb over him, suck in that'it.
你教什么地盖天呀？！ Why do you teach her this?
现在这个环境最事儿用地盖天嘛！ This gesture suits this environment.
适合你个头 Damn you!
我给你们布阵去，你们自己搞定！ I'll set the protection, go ahead yourself.
其实…其实我应该跟你说一声对不起 Actually, I've to say sorry to you.
为什么？ Why?
我整天跟你斗嘴，但是我是无心的 I don't mean ti quarrel with you.
因为我怕你瞧不起我这个穷警察 I'm afraid you'll look me down.
所以我才装作很拽的似的 So I pretend to be cocky.
没关系！其实你也是一个有为青年 Actually you are a nice guy.
你不要这样说 Don't say that.
我不是那种很随便的人 I'm not so open minded.
就算这次是为了除魔，所以才跟你… I just do it to kill the monster.
不过你放心，我一定会负责任的 Don't worry, I'll be responsible.
你想负责任？！怎么负呢？ For what?
跟你… To...
继续下去呀！ Keep our relationship.
你怎么知道我会肯呢？ How do you know I'm willing?
现在问你呀！ I'm asking you!
怎么样？ How is it?
来嘛！ Come on!
你想他们搞定了没有？ Don't you think they have finished or not?
等一下不就知道了吗？ Just wait a while.
这么晚了，会是谁呀？ Who is coming?
伯父，是我！我是来找小婷的 It's me. I come for Ting.
你来的太晚了，已经来不及了 You're late!
回去打飞机吧！ Go home!
开门让我进来，我有很重要的话跟你们说 I've somthing importat to tell you!
你这个色鬼，谁会给你开门呀！ You wolf! Who'll open the door? No!
她怎么知道我是鬼呀？！ How deoes her know I'm inhuman?!
我怎么知道！快敲门！ How do I know? Knock again.
快敲！ Go on!
这把火不把你烧成干尸才怪！ I'll burn you, for sure!
幸好祖师爷有留下这个莲花灯阵 Luckily our master leave me the lotus lamps position.
要不然，我们还真是收服不了他！ Or, we can't defeat it.
就是呀！ That's right!
反正都搞定了，赶快去叫女儿不要便宜那死小子 Since it's OK, ask our daughter to stop now!
走… Go...
你看 Look!
怎么又来了？！ Why it comes again?
老头子，怎么办？ Bastard, what'll we do?
我们快走吧！ Let's go!
救命呀… Help!
[阴阳尸]终于露出原形了 The Terrific Vampire shows its origin!
我们现在是天上地下 Now we become th emost powerful.
诸神诸魔无法消灭的魔体 Non defeatable monster!
你们认命吧！ It's fate!
外面动得好厉害！ It's shaking!
那你开始呀！ Go ahead, now!
你不要紧张呀！ Don't panic!
那根东西出来了 It comes out.
他们要交合了！ They are going to mate.
绝对不能让他们交合！ We can't let them mate.
死老头，他们要上马了，说什么也要撑着 They'll soon be OK! We'd stop them attacking!
掌心雷 Watch my palm!
死老头，这样大出血，我们有多少血可以出 How can you sacrifice like this?
撑一下算一下！让他们有时间交合！ To give them time for mating!
还好那小子是第一次 The kid is a virgin.
送报纸的，你快点！ He'll soon be OK!
不行呀！挡住了！ No way! Hold it!
那你慢慢来 Take your time!
不如换个姿势试试看 Why not change another position?
好痛呀！ I feel painful!
成功了！ Succeed!
不是，你弄错地方了 No! You've gone a wrong place.
肥婆，我没什么血了 Fatty, I'm exhaused!
你多打一掌吧 One more please.
为什么？ Why?
你人胖血比较多！我太瘦了 Cause I'm thin, you'll have more blood!
给你点血 I'll give you blood!
哪来这么多血？ Why you have so much blood?
全都是[靠得住]帮忙！ By this!
这种血好厉害！不要浪费呀！ This is powerful! Don't waste it!
怎么样？ How is it?
不行呀！ No way!
让我来 I'll do it!
你又学你老妈？！ You learn from your mom!
还是我老妈对 My mom is right!
没子弹了！ It's finished!
那怎么办？ What to do then?
不用怕，出最后一招！ Don't worry!
师傅赐我红肚兜，诸魔诸神随我收 My master gives me this whch can kill evils!
红肚兜顶住！ Hold it!
师傅骗人的！ My master cheats me!
怎么？！只有你一个？ Only you're left?
你们可以阴阳同体，我们一样也可以 You can be bisexual? I can do it too.
好，看你有什么法力 Look what'll you have to counter attack.
[阴阳尸]一分开就威力大减！ If they separate, their power will be less.
快点消灭他！ Kill him!
乃密… La Mit!
霹雳金剪刀！ Gold scissors!
灵血朱砂降魔符！ My terrific charm!
怎么没声啦？ It's quiet.
终于搞定这[阴阳尸]了！ We kill it a last!
是你搞定的吗？ You did it?
你这个死老头 You bastard!
女儿，你吃了他的童子鸡啦？ Have you taken his virgin?
那还用说！不然哪会那么厉害 Sure! That's why we are powerful!
既然这样，那你们两个明天去公证结婚好了 Well, then marry tomorrow!
不是那么老土嘛！ Don't be that old fashioned! OK!
吃了就要结婚，那他岂不是要嫁几百次啦？ If marry after each sex, she'd have married hundred times!
你说什么？ What did you say?
什么话嘛？！ Go ahead!
你好毒！ You bastard!
我的思想很开放的 I've an open mind!
虽然失身给你，不过你放心 Don't worry!
我不会叫你负责的！ I won't ask you to be responsible.
那谢谢你了！ Thank you then.
要不要我打点首饰给你？！ Do you want some present?
不好意思！谢谢呀！何必破费呢？ Thank you! It's too generous of you.
霹雳金剪刀！ Gold scissors!
剧终 The End